2009-11-06  Fri.

One Side, the Other Side...

今天下午5点从lab里出来，往parking lot走的时候听到有人和我打招呼。我抬头一看，原来是我们班去年毕业的PC，一个看起来很shy的美国男生。

我上次在lab楼附近碰见他，还是去年summer之后他defese以前。那个时候他还开着他那辆灰色的Toyota。今天他却穿着一件leather jacket，站在一辆breath-taking的黄色配黑色Honda Interceptor前面。我一时也不能把眼前看见的这个他和他毕业之间几年时间我在lab楼里遇见的那个低调内向的他联系起来。才一年的时间没碰面聊过天，再见到他他就已经换了形象。

我问他，"You don't drive your Toyota any more?" 他摸了摸他的摩托车，腼腆的笑着说，"Now I have this baby." 还说如果不是他的motorcycle后面没有passenger seat，then he'll take me for a ride now. 呵呵。

他问我什么时候毕业，我说就是今年了，现在"I am chased by tons of deadlines"。他问我的统计学得怎么样了，我说我修完了Master全部的课，明年5月份回来take qualification exam，pass了就能拿到统计Master了。我问他他的那个Master修得还差多少课了。他说他quit了。我十分诧异，说你Ph.D.念完之后还留在这里继续做post-doc，不就是因为你想把那个public health的Master念完吗？他说那个Master要修39个学分，他到现在才修了18个，但是课took him too much time，他没空在lab做research了。而且还有20个学分没有修，这个degree还require minimum 3 months internship，这都是在他同时做post-doc的时候不可能实现的，所以他只能quit了。

我问他在现在的lab还要做多久。他说在现在的lab还要呆一年。他问我毕业之后打算做什么，我说post-doc或者industry，还在刚刚开始look for jobs的阶段。我问他下一个position想去哪里，他反问我为什么只能做post-doc或者进industry。我万分诧异的问他，除了这两个option，我们还能去哪儿？他说他completely tired of research, and he wants to do something completely different. 他还反问我，"Are you still interested in research after all these years?" Of course I am, but I wouldn't say it to people like you.:)

I said, "I have no idea that you hate research this much. You finished your Ph.D. within 4 1/2 years, while most of others were still struggling in the lab."

He said, "It's because I never said it."

我说那你老板知道吗？他说，"I told him about it." I said, "Was he happy about it?" He said, "Well, there is nothing he can do. I have my own fellowship." Huh.

我问他如果不去related field工作，那他打算去做什么。他说他一直在帮别人做website design，他想have his own business on this.

他说这些的时候，我心里虽然觉得这样的决定似乎有点immature，但回答的时候绝没有半点迟疑，马上就说，"If this is what you really really want, then you should give it a try."

他说其实他也没想好到底应该怎么做。我说你可以先去给别人设计website的company做两年，攒点工作经验，然后再自己开公司也不错呀。他说他的background doesn't match，多半没人愿意hire他。我说你有experience啊，多半有人hire你，but the position probably won't be very good. 不过如果他不太care how much he could get paid，那就没有问题。他说这个不是问题，at this time, he doesn't have family or anything. 我说你还是可以去Ph.D. research related company去工作啊，不去做research不就行了，这样就没人觉得你background doesn't match。他笑了笑，说，"this is my second plan." :)

他还问我到底哪一天defense，他一定要去听。我说日子还没定，我下礼拜就去问我的committee members。

然后又互相update了一下彼此的近况。我问他现在忙不忙，还有没有空帮我改改thesis的grammar mistakes。他说他当然很忙，不过他会"find time to do it." 我说现在deadline逼得太紧，多半只能给他一个weekend的时间改我的thesis，问他这会不会too much。他一边无奈的看着我笑，一边说，"I'll try."

我问他他的email是什么，我写好论文之后好通知他，他问我，"Do you get on facebook often?" 我说，"Rarely." 他说那你去我lab找我好了，你还记不记得是在哪里？我说在二楼at the end of the hall的那间，对不对？他看了看别处，顿了一下，说，275G。

最后，他问我，"So you will be all busy this weekend?" 我说，"I will be working on my thesis really hard. But you have fun." 然后就互相告别了。

我从来没发现PC性格里面的另一面。我一直以为他都是那个很害羞，说话经常脸红的男孩子。但是他今天问我，"Do you feel it right that everything in your life has already been set?" 我说，"With this major, I probably doesn't have other choices." 我问他，"Will your parents be happy with your choice of working on web designs instead?" He said, "They won't. But there's nothing they can do." 我只能笑着说，"You are so independent."

也许PL从小到大，做了很多年的乖孩子，所以叛逆期来得太晚了些？谁知道。

不过一个人再想改变自己，性格里面有很多地方是不可能改变的。

比如，他到底想等到哪一天才会ask me out。I received enough signals over the years.

还有，我觉得我们真可笑，为什么我还要去他的lab找他这么麻烦，互相交换一下cell phone number不就行了。他是和我一样都没想到，还是没好意思问我呢。

Hum.

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